she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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