I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Still dying that you shit outside
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
