Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
