okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
Randomize
