please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
