I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
