so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
