Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize