He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
