They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
