Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
he wants to bone in the snuggie
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
