Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
My breasts were aching with rage.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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