also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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