You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
When are your genitals available?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
