i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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