Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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