Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Randomize
