I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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