I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize