so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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