oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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