I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Randomize
