Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
