Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
