Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
