he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
No subtext here. People are naked.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
