just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize
