hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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