end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize