she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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