My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
