the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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