I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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