I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
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