do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
