i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize