he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
You left your phone here
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