Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
