you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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