just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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