All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
