i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize