the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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