I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
