If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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