You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
