Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
