Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
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