We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
