I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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