Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
