8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Randomize
