Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
