i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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