Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
