Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
