you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
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