the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
