Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
