did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
