Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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