I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
