I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
