someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
