your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
