Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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